"Not too long ago, in a dimension closer than you think..."

The Perils of Quad began as a comic book idea. But I became so interested in one character that I unconsciously began to develop his life and his world and 272 pages later I had a novel.

Now available through barnesandnoble.com!

The Perils of Quad Overview

Bodi Hawkes is a teenage foster child with a challenging, yet uneventful life—until he starts to inhabit alternate superhuman versions of himself from four other dimensions. As Bodi struggles to make sense of his newfound ability, a young girl named Phoenix Mack becomes inadvertently entangled in his predicament. Together, they seek out a reclusive physicist, Professor Artemis Hill, to help them.

After Bodi demonstrates his powers for the apprehensive scientist, Professor Hill attempts to unravel the mysterious origin of the teen’s power which lies with his estranged father who he now must find. Complications arise when a sinister rival from the professor’s past, Dr. Victor Maddox, steals Professor Hill’s findings. What will the madman do with this information? Can he utilize it to execute his evil plans?

If Dr. Maddox can duplicate and expand upon Bodi’s ability and use it for his own criminal ventures, the results could be catastrophic. Now, along with his quest to discover the source of his extraordinary gift, Bodi embarks upon an amazing adventure to thwart any evil plans Dr. Maddox may have for his unique talent. But the diabolical doctor won’t go down quietly. What will it take for Bodi, Phoenix, and Professor Hill to overcome The Perils of Quad?

Monday, December 14, 2009

PERILS OF QUAD FAN ART!


Here is a sample of fantastic fan art submitted by the lovely and talented Kaitlyn Elizabeth Mui from Long Island, New York. Kaitlyn is sixteen years old and is planning for a career in animation and graphic design as well as music.


You can imagine the amazing progression of her talents in the years to come.


Thank you Kaitlyn!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Road To UNPLEASANTVILLE!


I just wrote a short script called Unpleasantville, which was made by a group of exceptionally talented filmmakers and talent! It's a very Tim Burtonesque little story and the film so far looks fantastic! I would say it's "A Nightmare Before Christmas" meets "Pleasantville" and I hope to see it at The Sundance Film Festival... WATCH FOR IT!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Here's a rough sketch of an updated cover design for The Perils of Quad!


Foreground- Left to right: Prof. Artemus Hill, Gavin Blaylock (background), Bodi Hawkes (foreground) and Phoenix Mack
Background- The silhouetted figures behind our heroes are again left to right) Coolidge Hays, Bobbi Bloodhawk, Slim Woodlaw and Carlos Toro
And of course the looming figure at the top is none other than Dr. Victor Maddox

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

International Sci-Fi Website SFCrowsnest.com Reviews The Perils of Quad!!


The Perils of Quad by Carl Joglar01/07/2009 . Source: Kelly Jensen
pub: iUniverse.com. 272 page enlarged paperback. Price: $17.95 (US), £12.00 (UK). ISBN: 978-144012-275-0.



A great little novel! At a time when every Young Adult author seems to be churning out teenage vampire romance and 'Harry Potter' clones, Carl Joglar is trying something a little different. 'The Perils Of Quad' is the story of Bodi Hawkes, a fairly typical teenager moving through the foster care system. His mom has problems, but is getting her act together. He has his own set of problems he can't seem to resolve, suffering from odd blackouts, waking up somewhere different each time. It turns out he can 'transmogrify' himself from one dimensional form to another, in fact through a series of four other dimensions, hence his being referred to as 'Quad'. But, of course, his life is not already difficult enough and is pursued through this dimension and another by the evil Dr. Maddox who desires an absolute monopoly over Bodi's unique talents. There are strong comicbook elements to this story that should appeal to a wide audience and the writing is quite competent! The hint of romance has a very teenage flavour, enough to enhance the relationships in the story without overshadowing the plot. In other words, it doesn't get in the way. The action is thrilling and fight scenes are well choreographed. On the whole, I found the story fast paced and imaginative. I hope Carl Joglar puts Bodi and his 'team' back together for further adventures.


Kelly Jensen

Friday, June 26, 2009


Gavin's Underground June 24th 2009


Checking in on local literature as it picks up steam again this summer, one of the most recent books to drop this year was The Perils Of Quad. A sci-fi adventure about a young man who starts to embody superhuman like qualities from parallel versions of himself, but after displaying his new found abilities the information falls into the wrong hands. Leaving it up to him and his new found allies to stop the impending doom. I got a chance to chat with author Carl Joglar about his careers in film and writing, the new book, thoughts on local writing and a few other topics.Carl Joglarhttp://carljoglar.blogspot.com/

Gavin: Hey Carl, first off, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Carl: Well, I was born and raised in New York City – The Bronx to be exact. (that probably sounds bad but it wasn’t) I went to private school my whole life (that probably sounds bad and it was) …just kidding. I studied martial arts briefly as a child, then as a teenager, then as an adult and worked as a clerk at a law firm in Manhattan for seventeen years while studying and pursuing a screenwriting career.

Gavin: How did you first take an interest in writing, and what were some of your first attempts at it?

Carl: I would have to say it started when I took an interest in reading for enjoyment. Ever since I can remember I’ve always loved comic books, and as a teenager I noticed that my sister was always lounging around with her face buried in a different book every week and I remember thinking, “Man, what’s the big deal? There aren’t even any pictures in it.” Then I started reading out of curiosity and I was hooked. I never actually wrote anything until years later, and with my very first screenplays I placed as a quarter-finalist in almost every contest I submitted to… which is what convinced me that I wasn’t a hack so I continued to write. I was one of those writers who was paranoid about the validity of their talent.

Gavin: Who are some of your favorite authors that inspired you and your writing?

Carl: Man, there are so many. With screenwriting, I was completely inspired by David Koepp, Jeb Stuart, Shane Black and M. Night Shyamalan just to name a few. With literary fiction, it was Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Robert R. McCammon at first then I discovered other authors like Tom DeHaven, Michael Chabon, Michael Crichton and Steve Alten.

Gavin: What were your experiences like trying to go through college for writing or filmmaking?

Carl: I left Mercy College and tried to enroll in NYU and the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan but they both said that my high school grades were too low… which, as I’ve said before, is kind of like being rejected for an American Express card because you’re overweight. So, I decided to teach myself. I bought all the best books on the subject and sat down to write my first script. I submitted it to a contest and placed as a quarter-finalist on my first try.

Gavin: What made you take up screenwriting at first?

Carl: In my first and only year at Mercy College I had an English professor who briefly mentioned that he was a screenwriter for Paramount and for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about that comment. The entire lesson that day was a blur after that. Interestingly enough, by the end of the class I felt possessed. I told him I wanted to be a screenwriter and he asked me what I knew about it and I said “Um…nothing.” He told me to read Syd Field’s Screenwriting and get back to him but by the time I read the book and went back to him he had left the college. So much for having a mentor.

Gavin: How did it feel working on “Children Of Sin” and the success it brought at Lone Star?

Carl: It was incredible for me. It really made me dig my heels in and push forward. I remember it was the first time I ever thought to myself, “Wow, I might be the real thing.” Children of Sin was the first script I ever wrote and that was right after the film schools rejected me. It was only a quarterfinalist but the thing that made it such a success for me, besides placing my first time out, was that I had received a handwritten letter from the judges saying that they were incredibly impressed because they’ve never had a sci-fi fantasy script even place in a predominately drama-driven competition.

Gavin: About how many screenplays have you finished to date, and what was the overall experience for you working in film?

Carl: I’m not saying this to be dramatic but I seriously lost count. If I had to guess I would say fifteen full-length screenplays. But I’ve written dozens of short scripts, including one that was filmed for AMC’s Monsterfest Halloween Special hosted by John Carpenter. So, altogether maybe forty or fifty. The film projects I’ve done weren’t exceedingly glamorous but I’ve had some pretty cool experiences (like the AMC project) Aside from that one, I had sold a couple of independent horror scripts which is always a serious thrill and I was the Story Editor on an independent urban comedy film due out this September. The greatest experience for me so far was being on the phone with film producer Moctesuma Esparza (Selena, Gods and Generals) He had read an action-comedy project that I’d written for a director-friend and he told me how much he loved it. It was an incredible rush.

Gavin: How did the decision come about to move out to Utah?

Carl: I had just left New York and moved closer to my family in Miami but I couldn’t stand it. …The weather, not my family. And my long-distance girlfriend at the time suggested I move out to Utah. I thought about it and couldn’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t, so I did. Several months later, we got married and had a beautiful baby.

Gavin: What brought about the idea to start working on a book?

Carl: While I was struggling with screenwriting in New York, my best friend casually mentioned that I should “change it up” and write a sci-fi book. He might as well have suggested that I try to become a rocket scientist for NASA. I remember laughing and I just shrugged it off because that simply sounded like too much work. It didn’t automatically click… but he had planted a seed.

Gavin: Where did the idea for The Perils Of Quadcome from?

Carl: When I was in New York, I was looking into starting an independent comic book about a group of teenage superheroes. But none of it really excited me except this one character. The power that I created for him was so interesting to me that I found myself unconsciously building a story just around him. (That character would become Bodi Hawkes). Then what my best friend had brought up that time about the book came back to me and it was like mixing chemicals together that began to boil. I couldn’t stop developing it in my head. Once I moved to Utah, I had mentioned to my wife that I had this growing idea for a young adult fiction novel that was taking up so much room in my head that I was forgetting how to tie my shoes. She immediately really pushed me to start it.

Gavin: How was your time spent working on it, and how did you go about finding a publisher for it?

Carl: It took me seven months to write and that was only on weekends so that gives you an idea of how much of the material was rolling around in my head. By the time I actually sat down to write, it just came gushing out. I remember telling my family and friends that the book was done and they just kind of stared at me and said, “The wholebook??” As far as publishing, it could take years to get picked up by a traditional publisher because you have to send out queries. A lot of publishers don’t accept queries and the ones that do reject most of them. So I decided to self-publish right away so I could have an actual book to send out to book clubs and reviewers to increase my exposure. I want to create a platform for myself and a portfolio of reviews and such to increase my chances of getting picked up by a traditional publisher.

Gavin: The book was just released last month and got some good reviews all around. What's been your take on the initial success of the book?
Carl: I’m so happy, and pleasantly surprised, that so many people like it! It’s intended as a young adult novel but I tried to make it enjoyable for adults too and so far it’s worked. For instance, I recently was able to get a famous comic book artist to read it and he said he couldn’t put it down. He was one of my favorite artists growing up so I was really holding my breath on that review.

Gavin: I've read you're already working on the sequel, how is that book coming along?

Carl: It was conceived as a trilogy… but now that I’ve fleshed out those books I could easily continue it as a series. I’ve had treatments for the two other books since the beginning. The second book is titled Rise Of Myth and I pretty much had to flesh out the outline for it when I finished the first book because it’s kind of a continuous story and reveals some interesting and disturbing information that was hidden in the first book. I’m hoping to make the second book an even more thrilling story.

Gavin: A little state-wide, what's your take on the local literary scene and the writers coming out of it?

Carl: It’s amazing! While I was researching book reviewers and trying to submit my manuscript, I came across not only wonderfully competent literary critics but an incredible pool of local writers. I had no idea there was such an enormous circle of creative talent here…and it’s growing!

Gavin: Is there anything you think could be done to make it more prominent?

Carl: Yes, having me on radio and television to promote The Perils Of Quad. Just kidding (sort of). I think if the local media (news stations, newspapers, radio, etc.) were more welcoming and more willing to promote local untraditionally published writers, by that I mean interview and review books from emerging talent, it would generate more interest from the publishing industry and ultimately bring about more nationwide awareness of Utah as a more prominent entertainment circle.

Gavin: Do you have any advice for other local writers about their work and getting published?
Carl: Self-publish your novel but only as a tool to get picked up by a traditional publisher. It gives you an actual book to get out to the public for exposure. I say self-publish only as a tool because unless you have the money, time and resources to properly market and publicize your book it’s going to be near impossible to create the awareness and interest necessary to sell your book to the extent where you can support yourself financially. That being said, if you do self-publish, take the time and invest the money in having it professionally edited because, believe me, professionals will know if you haven’t and they will not read it. Lastly, write what you’re passionately interested in because it’s probably the only thing that will give you the strength to see it through all the way to the end.

Gavin: What are your thoughts on the local book stores and how they're holding up against bigger chains?

Carl: They continue to fight the good fight and it’s incredibly admirable. I support them whole-heartedly and I encourage everyone else to do the same.

Gavin: Do you feel like books are in decline with some being published online, or do you believe there will always be an audience there for a hand-held copy?

Carl: Oh, there’s no doubt there will always be an audience for hard copy books. Right now e-books make up only twenty percent of book sales and that’s probably only because of the whole Kindle craze. The thing is, for true book lovers, there’s something irresistibly nostalgic about the feel, smell and heft of an actual book. Nothing can truly threaten that. The tangibility of it is has been too much a part of our culture to ever be completely forgotten.

Gavin: What can we expect from you the rest of the year?

Carl: I just came back from the NYC Writers Conference and several publishers and possibly a literary agent were interested in the manuscript so hopefully it’ll get picked up! Meanwhile, watch your local papers for other reviews on The Perils Of Quad and a book trailer will be released on YouTube soon. I’ll also be releasing online previews of the second book, Rise Of Myth. Check my blog for updates.

Gavin: Besides the obvious, is there anything you'd like to plug or promote?

Carl: Yes! As I said, I was Story Editor on an independent film called “The Startup” and it’s due out this September. Watch for it! Also, I’m currently co-writing an independent horror screenplay which will soon be shopped around to local film investors. If anyone is interested in funding a local film co-written by yours truly please email sahnafoley@yahoo.com. I’m also available for talks at local schools and I’d like to invite everyone to reach out to me at carl_joglar@hotmail.comor on Facebook and feel free to join my blog for current news and events at my website.

Monday, June 1, 2009

MARVEL/DC Comic Artist Bob McLeod reviews The Perils of Quad!!


"Really enjoyable sci-fi/fantasy. Very well-written and plotted for a first novel. I really wasn't expecting much from this oddly titled book by an author I'd never heard of. But Joglar grabbed me from the first page, the first sentence really, and didn't let go until the last. Every time I had to put it down, I looked forward to finding time to pick it up again. The characters are interesting and likable, it reads very smoothly, and the plot really keeps you turning pages. What a fun ride of a book!" Bob McLeod – Author of Superhero ABC; Illustrator/Inker – Marvel and DC Comics / Co-creator of The New Mutants

Friday, April 17, 2009

Now available in E-Book Form!

THE PERILS OF QUAD is now available as an e-book at BooksOnBoard.com!

Quad is also available in e-book form through iUniverse.com.

Book Review from Urban Latino Magazine is in!

Click HERE to see the picture full size.

Book

The Perils of Quad
Written by Carl Joglar
iUniverse

First time author Carl Joglar will take you on a sci-fi journey in The Perils of Quad, a story about a young man named Bodi Hawkes, who has a self-realization of the grandeur of his unbeknownst power. A foster child, with a challenging yet uneventful life, Hawkes' newfound gift talent allows him to possess alternate superhuman versions of himself from four other dimensions. Throughout this journey of discovery, Hawkes befriends Phoenix Mack and a reclusive physicist, Artemus Hill. Mack and Hill help Bodi find the true source of his talent - his father. But, before he can confront the man that passed on this power, Victor Maddox, the villain personified, uses superhuman abilities to force obstacles in his way.


A cross between Fantastic Four and Twilight, The Perils of Quad is an epic adventure that keeps the reader intrigued and fascinated from beginning to end. A roller-coaster ride of emotions and an array of unique characters, bring the epic tale full circle with fighting scenes that jump off the page. By the end, you'll feel that Bodi is a dear friend and you've played part in his out-of-this-world voyage. So tighten your seatbelts...this will be the ride of your life! - Zayda Rivera

Thursday, April 16, 2009

New York City Writers Conference

Carl will be attending the New York City Writers Conference (NYC Pitch and Shop) from June 11th - 14th!

Out of hundreds of applicants only 60 were accepted!

Carl will be pitching THE PERILS OF QUAD to some of the biggest NY editors/agents! Let's wish him luck!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Cache Magazine & Herald Journal Review Coming!

THE PERILS OF QUAD is currently being reviewed by book critic Charlene Hirschi (Cache Magazine, The Herald Journal)!

Watch out for it!

Friday, March 27, 2009

97.1 Radio Show Available on podcast!

Looks like if you missed the Carl Joglar interview you can hear it on podcast just click HERE and select 3/26/09 Part 3, it's about 50 minutes in.

Go check it out!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Radio Interview

Carl Joglar will be on the 97.1 KZHT Morning Zoo Radio Show with Frankie, DB, and Jess this Thursday (March 26, 2009) at 9:30 AM to talk about and promote his novel THE PERILS OF QUAD!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Carl in URBAN LATINO MAGAZINE!

Look for Carl in this months (March 2009) URBAN LATINO MAGAZINE. A photo and review of his book was published in their 15th Anniversary double issue!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

"The Witching Hour"

Here's a link to "The Witching Hour", the short film I wrote for AMC's SHORT SCREAMERS Hosted by John Carpenter and a short article from the special. Or click HERE to watch.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Perils of Quad is now on sale!

Carl Joglar's sci-fi adventure novel "THE PERILS OF QUAD" is now on sale at Amazon.com!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

25 Reeeaally Random Things About Me

1) Once I called the offices of Chips Ahoy and, in a Cookie Monster voice, I tried to arrange for home delivery. The rep was not amused.
2) I like stale potato chips, soggy fries and cold chicken.
3) I've always had a fascination with the Bionic Man, Martial Arts and anything Sasquatch.
4) I buy and rent action movies but I only watch the fight scenes.
5) When I was 21 years old, no film school would take me so I taught myself how to write a script and that same year my very first screenplay made the quarter finals of the Lone Star Screenplay Competition.
6) My biggest fear is sharks but my favorite movie is Jaws.
7) I can't stomach any talk shows, game shows or reality shows.
8) When I first moved from New York to Utah, I had a full on panic attack in the middle of a cowboy store.
9) I can't remember who I go to the movies with but I remember the name of every classmate in my kindergarten class.
10) I don't watch sports, and I don't like Elvis Presley, Willy Wonka or The Beatles. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry.
11) Musicals really bug me. I think it's just because the idea of someone bursting into song in public (not to mention in mid-conversation) is too embarrassing to enjoy.
12) My feet are so flat that when I walk barefoot on a smooth floor there’s a suction effect and they make a popping sound.
13) I like to take hour-long showers and I sometimes go through two bars of soap a week.
14) Mayo sandwiches rock.
15) In New York I ran into an elevator and startled Donald Trump's bodyguard...who almost shot me.
16) I buy a lot of flashlights. I don’t go camping and I'm not afraid of the dark. I just like flashlights.
17) When I was 10 years old I made it all the way to the finals in a Judo tournament, and then I lost…to my sister. Hey, she was bigger than me.
18) Anything involving superheroes...I must have.
19) I have never had any piercings or tattoos. This wouldn't have been a big deal 20 years ago but nowadays it's pretty freakin' rare.
20) Living 37 years in the Bronx and working 20 years in the heart of Manhattan I have never been mugged or attacked. Also rare.
21) Martha Stewart visited the law firm where I worked in New York and promptly tried to get a receptionist friend fired for not taking her coat.
22) At an airport in Florida, a group of girls mistook me for a Spanish opera singer and insisted that I give them my autograph.
23) I played the lead in a short horror film that ran before the main feature "Pieces" at the Fantasia Film Festival.
24) Whenever I buy a book, I never take a damaged copy...which is dumb because I wreck it when I read it anyway.
25) While visiting friends in Arizona last year, my buddy made a joke and I laughed so hard that I passed out. It was the only time I ever fainted.

A Peek At Me ....or "Are You A Suspicious Character?"

What's a fact about the last person who had their arms around you?
She refuses to wear shoes...ever. And I mean never.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Question is, if there was, would I tell you? And the answer is no.

It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings?
It's my best bud, Alex. He forgets he's three hours ahead of me….constantly.

What is your favorite thing to eat?
Chinese food. Spare ribs or fried chicken wings or beef and broccolli. Thanks. Now I'm hungry.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold. I hate choking down summer air. It's like trying to breathe with your head in the oven.

What do you currently hear right now?
Dialogue in my head for my second book.

What do you think your best friends are doing right now?
They'd better be reading my first book.

What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
The red one. I'd say fruit punch but they give their beverages obnoxious names like "crimson explosion" or "rambunctious red".

Who would be the first people to know if you got pregnant?
Are you implying that I’m fat?

Something you just don't understand?
Why people try to tear each other down for no reason. And why teenage mutant ninja turtles became a freakin’ phenomenon.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
Jesus. He’s my co-pilot.

How old is the last person that texted you?
What an odd and suspiciously boring question. Why don’t you just ask me how many times I wore the color blue this week?

What was the last thing you laughed really hard about?
I was watching Family Guy and the mother was accusing Brian the dog of going through the garbage. Brian insisted he didn't...then farted causing his anus to blow a chewing gum bubble that promptly popped. I honestly don't know why I was laughing so hard...and for so long. Seriously, it was disturbing.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Sleep. Of course life probably has other plans for me.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Sounds like you’re accusing me of stealing.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past three days?
No, but now I feel like I should. Thanks again.

What are you excited about?
Getting my book published and receiving a huge advance.

What are you doing tomorrow?
You asked me this already.

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Again with what I'm thinking. ..Jeez.

Do you care about someone?
No, I prefer to be completely devoid of compassion. ...That was sarcasm.

Do you regret doing anything this week?
I regret asking someone for help who didn't want to help. That's the worst. They act like you just asked them to wipe you after a bowel movement.

How late did you stay up last night?
Late enough to make me feel the next morning like I was shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart.

Is there a member of the opposite gender on your mind?
What is it with you and "what's on my mind"?

Are you growing apart from anyone?
I don't grow apart from people. Either I distance myself or they push me away.

Who was the last person to call you babe and when?
No one ever has but thanks for pointing that out. This whole questionnaire should be titled, “How Empty Is Your Life?”.

Who is the last person you made jokes with?
My wife, Sara. We do this thing where we talk in a funny voice and replace the first letter of certain nouns with the letter 'h'. Like we'll talk about how our "harpal hunnel" is acting up or that we want to go to "Hed, Hath & Heyond." It sounds stupid but it's fun. ..Don’t judge me!!

All About Me (…or I’m Running Out of Interesting Questions)

1. What curse word do you use the most?This site is rated PG so I'll just say the one that sounds like 'shit'. ...oops. Ah, well.
2. Do you own an iPod?I did until it broke. Never purchase electronics off of ebay.
3. What person on your list do you talk to the most?What list? I'm supposed to have a list?
4. What time is your alarm clock set to?Is this a sexual euphemism?
5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?My sixth grade teacher, Ms. Marone. She asked me to hang some mistletoe and planted one on me. I was in a good mood for two years.
6. Do you remember where you were on 9/11/01?On the 3rd Avenue Bridge on my way to Manhattan. I was trapped in midtown for two days.7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?I prefer to do a charcoal sketch but nobody will stay still long enough.
8. What was the last movie you watched?The Perils of Quad, based on the bestselling book. Wait...that was a dream.
9. Do any of your friends have children?It's like someone hell-bent on overpopulating the Earth has them at gunpoint.
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy?Only people who try to get me to do their work. Incidentally, these people should be forced to change their surname to "Asshole". Clarence Peter Asshole. Like The Scarlet Letter, only funny.
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?Yeah, but it should come with something to help rouse you. I'm afraid one day I'm gonna wake up during my own funeral service.
12. What CD is currently in your CD player?The audiobook “Wicked” read by Martha Stewart. Just kidding. Nine Inch Nails – Downward Spiral.
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate?Regular what? Food? Medicine? I need more information!!
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?Yeah, but I forget. That’s probably why they tell me.
15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?For your information, Nancy Starbucks is a respectable woman!
16. Can you whistle?Can you ask me a more stimulating question?
17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Wow. You just blatantly tried to set me up.
18. What are you looking forward to?The end of this questionnaire.
19. Did you watch cartoons as a child?I watch cartoons now. …What’re you trying to say?
23. Do you own any band t-shirts?Yes, I keep them as souvenirs after I dispose of the bodies.
24. What will you be doing in one hour?Receiving a phone call from a literary agency that wants to represent the book….hopefully.
25. Is anyone in love with you?I hope so cuz she's stuck with me.
26. What was the last song you heard?The new Brittany Spears one....and God help me, I didn’t hate it.
27. Last time you cried?Yes, let me tell you about the last time I cried, and then I'll indulge the details of my last colonoscopy and then perhaps I can compile a list of my most embarrassing moments for you to circulate to the public as you see fit.
28. Are you on a desktop computer or a lap top? I'm actually on a chair. I'm typing on a laptop, though.
29. Are you currently wanting any piercing or tattoos?Yes, I'd like to get a full body tattoo of a fantastic musculature to create the illusion of a ripped bod, thereby saving myself the trouble of working out. I'm also hoping to eliminate my chances of getting hired anywhere but Lou’s Tats.
30. What is the weather like?Like a passive/aggressive brat.31. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?I think the more tattoos you have, the better looking you need to be.
32. What did you do before this? Took out the garbage.
33. When is the last time you slept on the floor?The last time I took NyQuil on an empty stomach.
34. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?27.
35. Do you eat breakfast daily?No, I rotate my meals.
36. Are your days fast-paced?I live in Utah.
37. What did you do last night?Prayed…and prayed and prayed. It was more like begging, really.
38. Do you use sarcasm?Oh, you noticed.
39. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? That’s like asking me how my rash is coming along.
40. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? If I was, I’d keep my mouth shut anyway because that’s the kind of idiosyncrasy that makes people wanna rip your tongue out of your head and smack you about the face with it.
41. Have you ever been to Six Flags?Yeah, it was the day I realized I was outgrowing my Underoos.
43. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?Opposite sex. They’re more comfortable having a serious conversation. Um…I mean they’re nicer to look at.
44. Do you like mustard?Not even a little bit.
45. Do you sleep on your side?I don't have a choice. If I lie face up, I snore and if I lie face down, my back hurts. Gives you an idea about how old I’m gonna be.
46. Do you watch the news?Just what I see as the channels are changing.
47. How did you get one of your scars?A drill got away from me and cut my brow open...while I was standing on a ladder, no less. It didn’t end well.
48. Who was the last person to make you mad?Probably you.
50. What is the last thing you purchased?Guaranteed writing success. And it only cost me two sacrificial lambs and a pint of my own blood. …Just kidding, That was sick. I’m sorry.

15 Films That Changed My Life

1) Peter Pan....It made me think that whenever I was experiencing an intense emotion, I should stop everything that was going on and express myself with a song. One psychiatric evaluation and two therapy sessions later, I believed musicals were created to sabotage my life.

2) Star Wars....I was as swept away as anyone else but even at eight years old I knew "Luke Skywalker" was an awful actor. It was like watching a tangled marionette floundering in the middle of a Muppet show.

3) Rocky....I remember reminding myself to go to school every day and to not ever get punched in the head because I didn't want to talk like that.

4) Jaws....One of my favorites. I hadn't been that terrified since I made out with the school bully's girlfriend. It also made me realize that I could go several weeks without bathing and the rest of my life without the beach.

5) Superman....I'd never felt so empowered. I thought I might be indestructible. I thought maybe I was stronger. I wanted to try to fly. After a couple of scraped knees and a sprained wrist I went back to reading comic books in my fortress of humility.

6) Blade Runner....I knew after this film that I would forever hate narration. I'm a huge fan but every time I would hear Harrison Ford's voice-over it was like someone interrupting me to ask for directions to Burger King.

7) A Nightmare On Elm Street....I finally felt like I fit into society again knowing there was a writer out there with a more demented imagination than me.

8) The Crow....This was the most innovative genre-bending piece of its time. Only true heartbreak could have inspired something like this. And it did. God, I wish I'd thought of it. This film made me want to die and come back from the dead just to exact gratuitously violent supernatural vengeance upon the guy who swindled me out of five hundred bucks for his pyramid scam.

9) Die Hard....It took me a good hour into the film to stop thinking, "I can't believe the 'Moonlighting' guy is cursing and shooting a gun". But after that, I knew it would be a milestone action film.

10) Batman....I thought it was the most amazing superhero movie of all time. Of course, ten years later I was embarrassed that I felt that way.

11) Jurassic Park....The dinosaurs looked so freakin' real. That'll stay with me forever. I still don't even remember the story. But seriously, who cares?

12) The Incredibles....Favorite animated film ever. Again, I wish I'd thought of it. The only thing I'd change is....I'd do a sequel!! Where the hell is the sequel??!!

13) As Good As It Gets....There's just something about watching a socially challenged Jack Nicholson interacting with people like a monkey on a job interview. I mean, who wouldn't be riveted by a slow motion train wreck?

14) Spider-Man....It pains me to say the only thing that drains the high-octane machismo heroism right out of this movie is that Toby Maguire has the voice of a nine-year old girl. They might as well have sewn a webbed tutu around Spider-Girl's waist.

15) Iron Man....I have to admit I scoffed at the idea of Robert Downey Jr. as a superhero (I hear they're gonna cast Will Ferrell as Captain America!) but the guy did make the movie.

Carlisms

What is your salad dressing of choice?
The one so fattening you might as well skip the salad.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
My car.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Chinese.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
You're assuming I like pizza....which I don't.

What do you like to put on your toast?
I don't like toast either.

How many televisions are in your house?
I refuse to answer this because I feel like I'm being judged somehow.

What color cell phone do you have?
This sounds like one of those "How Your Signature Defines You” type of deals. Dark Blue.

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Depends. If I'm doing something passive like writing then I'm right-handed. If I'm, say, smacking an idiot, I'm left-handed.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yes. Four wisdom teeth, a ganglion from my left wrist and I believe the collective toxins from interacting with several parasitic a#!holes has taken several years off my life.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My ass...off the bed.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Are you threatening me?

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Absolutely. I'd go out in a blaze of uninhibited jaw-dropping glory.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
It's a toss-up between Snarky Bronk, Durango Stiggs or Optimus Prime.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A thousand bucks wouldn’t even cover the trip to the ER.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I don't know. My wife keeps taking them.

When was the last run in you had with the cops?
I passed one coming out of the coffee shop. That's about it.

Last person you talked to?
My agent. No, wait....that was a dream.

Last person you hugged?
Big Bird. Wait...that was a dream too.

Favorite Season?
Christmas.

Favorite Holiday?
Christmas. Deja vu.

Day of the week?
Friday night.

Favorite Month?
Christmas. I mean, December.

First place you went this morning?
Bathroom. Duh.

What's the last movie you saw?
Pineapple Express. I’d say more but I’m still processing it.

Do you smile often?
Are you insinuating I'm not happy?

Do you always answer your phone?
Don't judge me.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
I always imagine it might be a drunken publisher who's mistaken me for another client but ends up liking me and signing me on. ...But it's usually someone I don't remember.

If you could change your eye color what color would it be?
Bright purple.

What flavor drink do you get at Sonic?
What the hell's a "Sonic"?

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes. One time my mom bought a fresh salmon from the butcher and I tried to revive it in the toilet.

Favorite Christmas song?
Carol of the Bells.

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
A literary agent, a book deal with a huge publisher and a tapeworm that decreases my weight by about 60 pounds.

Can you do push ups?
I just admitted I had a weight problem. Don’t make it worse.

Can you do a chin up?
And we're twisting the knife...and twisting the knife.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Nervous as a tethered mouse at a cat party. (That was for you, Karen.)

Do you have any saved texts?
Just by accident.

Ever been in a car wreck?
Fender benders. A wreck I probably wouldn't walk away from.

Do you have an accent?
In New York, no. In Utah I do.

What was the last song to make you cry?
I'm a guy.

Plans tonight?
You're always trying to make folks feel good about themselves.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
You should moonlight as a Suicide Hotline operator.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm broke. Yer battin' a thousand.

Have you ever been given roses?
Yes, but they were from a woman. I feel like I need to clarify that.

Current hate right now?
Lack of publishing contacts.

Met someone who changed your life?
My wife.

How did you bring in the New Year?
I don't remember.

What song represents you?
The theme song to Batman.

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Panicking.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
"Man, do I have to pee."

Name three people who might complete this?
I'm the only idiot I can think of.

Published February 2009

Published February 2009
Buy a copy online Today!

AMC Monsterfest

AMC Monsterfest
Carl was a contributing writer to "Short Screamers Hosted by John Carpenter" which was part of AMC's Halloween Monsterfest - He wrote "The Witching Hour" which was described by critics as "The Honeymooners meets The Others"

My Writer's Bio

My Writer's Bio
My writing life in a really small nutshell.....

Acting Debut

Acting Debut
This was a short horror spoof ("Working Late") that I played the lead in. It ran before the main feature ("Pieces")at the Fantasia Film Festival in Canada...

"The Startup" Movie Poster

"The Startup" Movie Poster
Carl was Story Editor on the film "The Startup"

Short film "Heroes" Movie poster

Short film "Heroes" Movie poster

"HEROES" Production Still

"HEROES" Production Still
Carl Joglar directing one of the actors